5 Lessons to Live By for Naturalistas

Save yourself time and Frustration with these tips

I remember when I finally committed to doing my Big Chop in 2016. It was Thanksgiving weekend, I hadn't had a relaxer since August, and I was taking down a head full of Senegalese twists. I had been getting relaxers religiously since I was around four years old, and had never been so far off of my 6-8 week schedule. As I settled into college life and my twenties, I grew increasingly interested in getting to see and know my natural tresses for the first time. So, as my comb and fingers went to work, I concluded that if I was going to commit to the journey, there would be no better time than that. I hit up my hairdresser at the time, scheduled the appointment, and on Friday, November 25, 2016, my journey with chemically straightened hair came to an end.

Photos above: My natural hair one month, 5 years, and 9 years after my Big Chop.

Nearly 10 years, countless product trials, style fails, and dollars later, I'm still holding it down. Due to costs and 50-11 jobs, I'm not always able to practice what I preach, but can give you some tips that serve me well when my hair is in its best state. If you're new to being natural, or thinking about taking the plunge, here are 5 lessons that I've learned since my Big Chop.

#1: There is no Such Thing as "A Lazy Natural."

Well, not if you want your hair to be healthy. In my early days of getting to know Lil' Ebony (the name that I gave my hair in her TWA—teeny weenie afro—stage), I scoured YouTube for tips, tricks, and ideas for maintaining my new 'do. To my surprise, tons of women proclaimed that they were "lazy naturals," and took pride in embracing the term. They boasted about how low-maintenance their haircare routines we re and how many weeks passed between their wash days; it wasn't said in a way to encourage dirty hair, but in a way that suggested Look how little work I put in, and my hair is fine! It took way too many colossal hairballs and painful detangling sessions for me to realize that everybody who claimed to be a Lazy Natural is either lying about the effort they put in, or their hair is unhealthy as hell. Don't even believe the hype when you hear the term, Sis. Natural hair needs just as much attention and time as relaxed hair does, if not more, in order to stay healthy. Learn from my mistakes and treat your hair the way that you want it to treat you.

#2: Getting to know your hair is a process.

Just like getting to know a new acquaintance or feeling out a new guy to see if he has what it takes to be your man, your man, your man, getting to know takes time and patience. In the early days when Lil' Ebony was actually little, I spent so many nights fighting against her instead of learning what she needs to look and feel her best. I had to slowly unlearn all the messages that I'd been fed about my tresses being "too thick," too hard to maintain, and too unruly. My hair wasn't "too much," it just requires me to be a little more patience, discipline, and intention.

I also had to accept that I didn't become a hairdresser overnight just because I decided to take matters into my own hands. As my hair length neared mid-back, I realized that I needed major help if I was going to continue wearing my curls. Finding an amazing stylist within my price range and staying in her books for routine visits became a game changer. Having her around to do the heavy lifting and intricate styles that I can't achieve on my own, allowed me to just focus on the maintenance in between appointments. I learned a lot about what my hair does and doesn't like from her work, but professional styling is an investment that I can't always afford. So keep that in mind. The point is that you'll need to give yourself time to learn what your hair likes and needs in order to thrive.

#3: Moisture is Your Best Friend

Regardless of your hair type, water is your best friend. I've learned that my hair is its worst when it's not hydrated. She's dry, looks dull, and becomes 10 times harder to detangle and style. A stylist once told me that your natural hair texture might be two levels lower on the hair-typing scale than you think it is, if you're not letting your hair feel water often enough. And trust me, I know the struggle well. When I'm busy, struggling, or just stuck in a rut, a wash day is the last thing I want to deal with; but when I stay on top of them, they're so much easier to get through. I prefer to get my hair done professionally for this reason, but this economy doesn't leave a lot of room for extra spending on beauty services. I'm typing this post now with nails that have been in desperate need of a fill-in but no coins to make it happen. Natural hair care is a delicate, and sometimes difficult, push and pull between other commitments, finances, and life. Do your best, as that's all we can do. Just know that wetting your hair every 7-10 days can make a big difference.

Pro-Tip for the Type 4 girlies: Only comb wet hair. Mine behaves best in a hot shower under the running water. Hot water in a coffee mug also helps when there's no time for two showers. Dry detangling sucks so I avoid it at all costs.

#4: Natural Hair is EXPENSIVE

This links with items 1-3, but if you haven't gathered it by now, natural hair is not cheap. Quality products, stylists, and tools for home haircare add up. Professionals sometimes charge extra for density, long length, extreme detangling, and certain add-on services. Personally, I think that every appointment should come with a wash, condition, and detangling regardless of hair length or density because why are we charging women for being blessed? But the business-minded side of me understands that there are situations that have led to extra charges being the norm. Sometimes, factors like a client's length, density, and hair condition impacts the labor and amount of products used, which quantifies into dollars spent or lost. If Client A comes in with a tangled mess on her head that takes 3 hours to comb through and thus pushes back appointments B, C, and D, (which could lead to cancellations or strained client relationships), then a stylist's business is impacted. Their income depends on the number of heads he or she does and their take-home pay might be lowered by extra products they may have to purchase to replenish the extra used, or to keep special products on hand for certain clients. Just as teachers should be fairly compensated for their work (especially since we often buy our own decorations and supplies), so should hair stylists. I'm not here to tell anyone how to run their business, but for the potential naturalista reading, keep all of this in mind. Even if you do your own hair, protective styles and trial and error with tools and products can be costly, too.

#5: be patient and kind With yourself

Going natural is just like learning any other new skill. It takes patience and time to figure out what works. Don't be mad at yourself for what you don't know. Instead, make the effort to keep learning. Every style won't come out right and every viral technique won't be the one for you. That is okay; we've all been there and overcame it to eventually find our groove. So will you. Water and layering products correctly (specifically leave-in conditioner, styling foam, and/or gel depending on your hair's preference) goes a long way.

Stay cute. #StayKultured