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Writing Challenge, Day 11: Significant Others

Honestly, see my previous responses on friendship and love because it all starts there for me. I believe that a successful relationship has to be laid upon a mutual foundation of genuine friendship and self-love. Everything else is secondary. Do you have an interest in getting to know me or are you just trying to roll in somebody’s sheets (no thanks)? Do you love yourself? Do you exemplify the same love that you expect to receive from others? If not, then how can I expect you to know how to love me?

In addition to that, I look for a warm personality, self-awareness, common interests, communication skills, emotional intelligence, consistency, compatibility, and intellect. Heavy emphasis on intellect.

Forget the D; what does that mind do?

Okay, don’t forget the D… (2021 edit)

The only other big thing I’m asking for is effort. If you express interest in me, then I expect you to back up that articulated interest with action. I don’t believe in doing all the work; I believe in being pursued. And don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to work with you; but I match energy, so I will not do the work for you.

“Damn, Kristian. Your standards are way too high. You want too much; you’ll never get a man thinking like that.” – Summa Y’all

Thank you for your entry into the suggestion box, ma’am/sir, but I respectfully disagree. You see, I know who I am, WHOSE I am, and I know my worth. I know the amount of love that I possess and plan to give whomever I end up with, but I’m not freely offering that to any and everyone. I know that I was beautifully and wonderfully made in His image, meaning that I am meant to be with someone who sees that, equally respects me, holds me in high regard, and wants to keep me. Therefore, I am not for everybody; and any man turned off by my expectations is most likely not for me either. I know that I was made to be loved, valued, and protected. What do I look like lowering my sense of self-worth to accommodate half-ass attention from someone, just to say that I’m not alone? Bye, Felicia.

I date with intention, meaning that I don’t date just anyone and I take any romantic relationship that I enter very seriously. To date or seek partnership with me is to be gradually exposed to a piece of my heart that not everyone is meant to see. So, yes, I’m very guarded with it and myself. And I’m honest about it because I don’t want to waste my, or anyone else’s, time.

The truth of the matter is that I am a busy woman; I’m at a point in my life where I’m building. So, if I choose to make time for someone, then it has to be worthwhile.

I don’t expect him to have it all together, because I certainly don’t either, but do at least expect my significant other to be working like me toward getting himself together. You have to come to the table with at least something; we can work out the rest with time.

Let’s build together. Let’s empower each other. Let’s comfort one another. Let’s add value to each other’s lives. Let’s push each other to become our best selves and more. If my suitor can’t handle or be open that, then what are we even doing?

As the old saying goes, know your worth and add tax. Stay Kultured.



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